Until recently, I had never heard of Closer magazine, or Chi magazine. But then, I am an American philistine. The bloggers and the main-stream media have forced me to pay attention. Apparently, there are Royal nipples to be seen. Well, if you are at all like me, you must be shocked, just shocked, to learn that Kate Middleton has nipples.

I had never heard of Coptic Christians, until recently either. Again, call me an American philistine. But, thanks to the media, I now know all about Nakoula Nakoula, an Eygptian-born Coptic Christian, who also happens to be a convicted felon (possession of chemicals to make methamphetamine, and identity theft and credit card fraud), whose 14-minute Youtube trailer entitled Innocence of Muslims has sparked deadly riots all over the planet. I’m still trying to figure out what a Coptic Christian is, and why anyone is taking this guy seriously.

But that is the power of magazine covers and Youtube to dominate the news these days.

Relegated to the fringes is the fact that the Arctic is melting, that youth unemployment in Europe is at crisis levels, and that Iran is on the verge of going nuke.

According to The Globe and Mail this morning, “Radical imam Ahmed Ashoush, a Cairo cleric, issued a fatwa–or religious edict–saying the 'blood should be shed' of everyone involved in the making of the film, and 'their killing is a duty of every capable Muslim.'” Ok then. Really?

As Margaret Wente points out in her column today, “In Western culture we insult religion all the time and think nothing of it. We fight for people’s right to put a crucifix in urine and put it on display and call it art.” 

I’ve resisted the temptation to go on Youtube to view the offending video. But I must admit, I couldn’t resist searching for the offending covers of Kate. 

I guess when given a choice between religious hatred and Royal nipples, when it comes to freedom to waste my time, I’d rather Google the magazines and oogle the covers. And may God bless the victims of hate and the nipples of Kate.

Oh, and can you pass me a martini with my life-preserver, apparently the world is on fire.